So far during my wife/mother journey there have been many times when I felt like I am in limbo. When I was working, I knew it was temporary, the ultimate goal was for me to stay home. I knew early on that sleep deprivation, bottles, diapers, baby swings, baby bouncers, strollers etc would all come and go. We're now in the full-fledged toddler stage where we sleep through the night and are starting to gain a little independence. I can turn on Super-Why and trust that R will be okay while I go shower and get ready. But I still rarely leave him unsupervised for even a minute. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to let him out of my sight.
Tonight we went to a small group meeting for the new church we're attending. I'll write more about the church thing later when I'm more ready to open up about it. But, some members were very gracious and invited us to join their small group. All the families who attended the group had four kids a piece. The rest of the moms were totally fine letting their kids run around, go up and down stairs and independently play while we had our group discussion. I tried to let Riley run free but both Dave and I had a hard time. He's only two. I was so worried about him going up and down the stairs without me, or playing somewhere that wasn't in my line of vision. Dave was a champ and spent most of the evening chasing R while I participated in and enjoyed the company and discussion. Next week I promised Dave could be the grown up and I would chase Ri. However, tonight got me thinking; do we hover too much? Granted, the next youngest child there was three, but everyone else was letting their children run free, trusting their judgment and letting them play. At what stage do you let them run and wait for them to let you know that they need you instead of watching their every move and intervening when you deem necessary? I want Riley to grow to be strong and confident and capable. I also want him to know how much he is loved and wanted and I do not want to see him hurt. This week I'm going to work on letting him be a little more independent. I'll start taking baby steps so hopefully my baby and I can hopefully grow together.